First Blog

I am a loving wife, mother to three. I love crafting, cooking, reading, hanging out with my family (when they are not fighting and tattling on one another) and spending time with my friends.

This blog is for me, I don't know if anyone will read it beside me, but this is for my journey. One that I have been on for a while and will be on for a lifetime. This is for me to channel myself into, to fill it with honest words, painful truths and hopefully personal motivation.

I have been on this journey since July 2011, when my little sister Dee-Dot (age and height) came for a visit and took me to my first Weight Watchers meeting, I weighed-in at 252 pounds. I have lost 39.6 pounds to date...but, I still need to lose 58 pounds to hit my "goal" range. 
I know 39 pounds is a lot of weight, but I have hit a major slow down the last 2 months, its more like hokey-poky, I lose one pounds then I gain one pound, I lose 1.6 pounds and then I gain .8 of a pound...  I am just feeling frustrated and at a complete loss.
Last week at weigh-in I had myself a major Deva tantrum (not a proud shinning moment), filled with tears, cuss words and me throwing my book and newly purchased box of ginger snaps...I SNAPPED!!! I had only lost 1.2 pounds and I had worked my buns off. I sat there during the meeting with tears dripping down my face, in extreme inner turmoil and not one of the leaders tried to comfort me, not one offered advise. So, with the help of my buddy I dusted myself off and vowed to have a better "next" week.
Welcome to "this" week and I have to boast I walked 20K and I made all the right choices. I tracked every lick, bite and taste; every smidgen, morsel and tid-bit. I cooked lots of veggies, ate lots of fruit and choose all the right carbs (high fibre). I stepped on the scale and I was eager to get a "YOU GO GIRL!!!" what I got was a hushed, "you lost .4 of a pound". I said "I what!!!!" (silent pause), I know they were getting ready for another Deva moment; but I held her at bay and sat-down...mentally screaming in visual reds, orange, and white.....
I LOST ONLY .4 of a pound. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH can you say overwhelmed and MAD MAD MAD. My leader asked to see my journal and she noted that I was making the right choices and eating in my range, so her solution was to have my thyroid checked. REALLY!!! Like I never thought of that. I did last year and it was normal.
I left the meeting with my friend ready to move my anger filled body, determined to do something this week that I have not done last week. We went to the walking track, I accidentally left my walking shoes at home so I walked in my snow boots, yep my snow boots. We also did our mini cardio of jumping jacks, push-ups, crunches and lunges.

I maybe upset, mad, and ready to quit but my fat does not know who it is up against. I am tired of lugging it around, tired of being fat and tired of being judged by my size. So this week and many more I am going to work hard to get to where I want to be. My motto this week is "sweat is fat crying" and I am going to make it cry a lot. I plan to walk 20-25k along with boot camp one day, and aqua-fit one day, we are going to mix-it-up baby and pray that the scale will show my hard work.